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Metta meditation is the Buddhist practice of deliberately cultivating goodwill — first toward yourself, then outward through people you love, people you barely know, people you find difficult, and eventually everyone. You do it by holding a person in mind and repeating a short set of well-wishing phrases, slowly, until the wish stops being words and starts being felt.

The Pali word mettā is usually translated as loving-kindness, though friendliness is closer. It is not romance, not pity, and not a feeling you are supposed to manufacture on demand. It is closer to the steady, uncomplicated warmth you feel toward someone whose wellbeing you simply want.

  • Pali: mettā
  • 2,500 years old
  • 10–20 minutes
  • No belief required
  • Beginner friendly

Practice Guide

Metta Meditation

The traditional order, the four phrases, and a ten-minute session you can keep beside you.

Get the printable practice guide

Eight pages, free, and made to sit next to you while you practice rather than be read once.

  • The six-step sequence, with why each step is where it is
  • The four phrases, and how to change them when they ring false
  • A ten-minute session with timings, plus a three-minute version
  • What to do when nothing happens — and a page for your own phrases

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Where metta comes from

Metta is one of the four brahmavihāras — the “divine abodes” of early Buddhism, alongside compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. Its best-known source is the Karanīya Metta Sutta, a short discourse in the Sutta Nipāta that is still chanted daily in Theravada monasteries. It contains the line most people meet first: the wish that all beings be at ease.

The practical method — the order of who you send metta to, and why that order matters — was set out much later, most influentially in the Visuddhimagga, Buddhaghosa’s fifth-century manual. That text is also the origin of the cautions that still make sense today: it advises against beginning the practice with someone you are attracted to, or with someone who has died, because grief and desire are not the same thing as goodwill and will hijack the practice quickly.

Worth knowing: the phrases most Western teachers use — may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, may you live with ease — are a modern formulation, popularized in the United States from the 1970s onward. They are a faithful distillation, not a translation of anything canonical. You are allowed to change them.

The traditional order, and why it is built that way

Classical metta practice moves through categories of people in a deliberate sequence. Each step is chosen to be only slightly harder than the one before, so the feeling you generated in the easy case can be carried into the difficult one.

1Yourself. Not because you matter most, but because goodwill you cannot extend to yourself tends to be brittle when extended to anyone else.
2A benefactor. Someone who has been unambiguously good to you. A teacher, a grandparent, sometimes an animal. The easiest case, used to find the feeling.
3A close friend. Warmth is easy here, which is the point — you are still building, not testing.
4A neutral person. Someone you genuinely have no feelings about: a cashier, a neighbor you nod at. This is the step most people find surprisingly moving.
5A difficult person. Not your worst case. Start with mild irritation, not betrayal.
6All beings. The boundary drops. Traditionally this is the point of the whole sequence, not a flourish at the end.

The traditional aim is sīmāsambheda — the breaking down of barriers, where you can hold yourself, a loved one, a stranger and an enemy in mind and find no difference in the wish you have for them. That is a high bar. Most practice sits well short of it, and still does something.

The phrases

Four lines, repeated slowly, one recipient at a time. The common modern set:

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

Say them at roughly the pace of a slow breath, leaving a gap after each. The gap is where the feeling arrives, if it is going to. Racing through the four lines is the single most common way to practice metta for months and feel nothing.

If a phrase rings false, change it. “May you be safe” is hollow for someone in real danger; “may you be held” may land better. The words are scaffolding for an intention, not a formula with power of their own.

Metta meditation and Western loving-kindness: what changed

What carried over

The sequence of recipients, the repeated phrases, the emphasis on starting with the easy case, and the insistence that this is a practice you do rather than a feeling you wait for.

What was set aside

The cosmology, the goal of rebirth in the Brahma realms, the monastic context, and the framing of metta as one of four interlocking qualities rather than a standalone technique.

What was added

A therapeutic frame. Western teaching often begins with self-kindness as an antidote to self-criticism — a concern the classical texts show little interest in, since they assume self-regard is the easy part.

Where that matters

If self-directed metta feels impossible, you are not failing at a beginner step. You are meeting the one place where the modern adaptation and the traditional assumption genuinely diverge.

How to actually practice it

Sit somewhere you can stay for ten minutes. Eyes closed or softly open. Bring one person clearly to mind — a face, not a concept — and offer the phrases to them, slowly, four or five rounds. Then move to the next person in the sequence.

You are not trying to force warmth. You are repeating a wish and noticing what happens. Some sessions the feeling arrives; many it does not. The practice is the repetition, not the result.

For the full guided wording, timings for each phase, and a printable version, use the complete loving-kindness meditation script. If the self-directed phase is where you get stuck, the self-compassion script approaches the same ground from a different angle.

What the research actually supports

Metta and loving-kindness practices have been studied more than most contemplative techniques, and the honest summary is: real effects, modest sizes, uneven quality.

Reviews and meta-analyses have found small-to-moderate improvements in self-reported positive emotion, self-compassion, and reduced self-criticism, with weaker and less consistent evidence for depression and anxiety outcomes. Some work has found short-term shifts in social connectedness after even brief sessions, and there is preliminary evidence linking the practice to changes in vagally-mediated heart rate variability.

The caveats matter. Many studies are small, few have active control groups, participants usually volunteer because they already expect benefit, and adverse effects have historically been under-reported across meditation research generally. Metta is not a treatment, and if someone is in acute distress it is not the first thing to reach for.

Common difficulties

Nothing happens

The most common experience, and not a failure. Metta is trained, not triggered. Weeks of feeling nothing followed by a session where something moves is the ordinary shape of it.

Sending kindness to yourself feels wrong

Very common, and worth taking seriously rather than pushing through. Start with a benefactor instead and come back to yourself later, borrowing the feeling you found there.

The difficult person brings up anger

Then they are too difficult for now. Choose someone who mildly annoys you. Metta is not forgiveness and it is not reconciliation; it does not require you to decide anything about what happened.

It feels like lying

You are not asserting that things are fine. You are expressing a wish. “May you be happy” is not a claim about the world.

Metta meditation questions, answered

Is metta meditation the same as loving-kindness meditation?

Yes. Metta is the Pali word; loving-kindness is the standard English translation. Most Western teaching uses the two interchangeably, though “metta” usually signals a more traditional framing and “loving-kindness” a secular or therapeutic one.

How long should a metta session be?

Ten to twenty minutes is typical. Five is enough to be worth doing. Traditional retreat practice runs far longer, but length is not what makes it work — pace is.

Do I have to be Buddhist?

No. The practice makes no metaphysical demands. You repeat a wish and pay attention to what happens.

What are the four brahmaviharas?

Metta (loving-kindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (sympathetic joy) and upekkha (equanimity). Metta is the first and the one most often taught alone.

Can I do metta for someone who has died?

The classical instruction advises against it, on the grounds that grief will take over the practice. That is guidance, not a prohibition — but it is worth knowing why it exists before you try.

Is there a script I can read aloud?

Yes — the full loving-kindness meditation script is free to read on this site and free to print, with timings for each phase and guidance on leading it for a group.

The full script, free to read and print

Every phase written out at the pace you would actually read it aloud, plus a five-minute short version, and honest notes on the part that goes wrong most often.

Read the loving-kindness script

Or browse the whole meditation script library →

Related resources

Jordan Buchan
Written by
Jordan Buchan

Neuro-Somatic Educator • Founder, Conscious Cues

Jordan Buchan is the founder of Conscious Cues and a Neuro-Somatic Educator whose work focuses on the process of turning insight into lived experience. She helps people move beyond simply understanding themselves and into embodying real change so what they know begins to shape how they feel, respond, and live.

Lisbon, Portugal Embodiment • Integration • Authentic Relating
ABOUT SOFIA

I am an Intern Somatic Body Psychotherapist, Neuroscientist, Dancer, and Dance Teacher. My passion for mental health began at age 14, sparked by a natural ability to attune to people’s emotional landscapes.

Over the past 15 years, I’ve travelled the world exploring the human psyche — a journey that shaped my integrated approach, rooted in neuroscience (brain), psychology (mind), philosophy (spirit), and somatic practices like dance (body).

This embedded with my empirical experience has made it a personal and interpersonal discovery – in line with my essence and natural tendency to help those around me deal with various aspects of mental well-being.

It is this multidimensional understanding of what it means to be human that is at the heart of my work.

My work as a somatic body psychotherapist draws on the concept that life is a continuous unfolding process, from the first cell in the womb to the present moment. All aspects of our being need to be considered when navigating mental health issues.

I support each client’s unique process with openness and curiosity of all these aspects, helping transform scattered energy into a coherent source of well-being and vitality, reshaping life in ways that often exceed expectations.

Through my Neuroscience of Dance project and Dance Integrated Healing Method, I offer neurocognitive and movement-based tools for healing.

For the past six years, I’ve supported dancers and educators worldwide through sessions and workshops, focusing on injury recovery, neurological rehabilitation, memory and balance, mental health, and the therapeutic potential of dance. This integration of dance, neuroscience, and psychology began during my postgraduate research on the brain mechanisms behind dance, in collaboration with a leading researcher in the field.

My research has been published in Dance Data, Cognition, and Multimodal Communication and presented at the International Association for Dance Medicine & Science (IADMS) conference. I was honoured when this project was nominated for the IADMS Dance Educator Award (2022) and the Applied Dance Science Award (2021) from One Dance UK, which also recognised me as a Healthier Dancer Practitioner.

Personally, advocate for neurodiversity as a proud dyslexic. I love cats, cute cafes, cats, long walks, writing, cats, poetry.

Did I say cats?

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